I woke up at four AM this morning.
Now most of you that know me really well know that I've had a lot of times in the past few years where I decided to wake up at five AM for various reasons. So you're probably thinking right now "oh no, Jake's gone off the deep end and is now trying to wake up at FOUR!" Not to worry; while I certainly have gone off the deep end and am still every bit as crazy as I was before, I'm not trying to wake up at four o'clock. Not yet. That's a whole twelve hours before my sister usually wakes up, by the way. Anyway, when I woke up this morning I looked at my phone for a minute then closed my eyes... but sleep didn't come. No matter how hard I tried my brain wouldn't have it. I drank some water. Stretched a little bit. Tried to block off my airway with a pillow.
Nothing worked.
So here I was, probably around five AM, just sitting in bed. I probably didn't get up and get on my computer till around six-thirty, but still I had ample time to think about the last little while (surprise, I do think quite often). I won't go into too much detail, but I can explain that there are some things that happened that left me feeling a lot of animosity towards some people who I felt like were my good friends. I felt like I'd been mistreated, wronged.
I felt angry. Really angry.
But then I felt something else. Ehmet Oz once said "the opposite of anger is not calmness, it's empathy." I can't say I felt calm--not even close--but I felt like I wanted to understand what the people I felt had wronged me were thinking, what they were feeling. I was still angry, but my head buzzed as it flew from question to question. "Why'd they do this?" "Why'd they do that?" "Why didn't they do ____?" Based on what I knew about the people I tried to answer those questions and it helped a lot. Some of what's happened has hurt me a lot. It made me feel like I was nothing but a old soccer ball that had been used but had become worn out and was being thrown out. I felt like shit, honestly.
But when I empathized with those people I felt something completely different. I felt what they were feeling. I understood what they were going through. I saw something in them; they're like me in a lot of ways (that's comforting, isn't it?) so how could I be angry at them? I forgave them.
And you know what? I feel better. Am I still a little hurt? Sure, but I'm not gonna let it get in the way of relationships with my friends. I mean, as long as my friends want to remain my friends, that is. Regardless I forgive them even if they're not sorry. Even if they feel they're right. And I'd do it again too. I'd forgive them again.
Why? Why forgive people when they do something wrong to you or when you feel like you've been wronged? It's simple, really. "To err is human; to forgive, divine." I don't remember who said that, but they said it far better than I ever could. People make mistakes. People make stupid mistakes that they might not regret at that time but may regret later. Hell, they might never regret them. But that's where this whole divine thing comes in. Forgiveness makes you a better person. I don't mean it makes you better than the person who wronged you, it just makes you improve as a person. Because what happens when you don't forgive someone is you feel animosity. You feel this anger welling up inside of you like a burning fist clenching your innards. It takes hold of you and won't let you go. It drives your actions, it changes your character. You might be a good person before that anger, but anger can completely change you. It transforms you into something cold and unrecognizable if you let it. The only cure for that is empathy and forgiveness. The only way to bring peace into your life is to forgive other people. That's the only way.
We, as humans, need to look at others and see that they make mistakes. We need to see that we make mistakes, and seek forgiveness. We need to see that other people are like us in that they make mistakes. It's been said that "empathy is about finding echoes of another in yourself."I think that's really true. When we have empathy for other people and then can forgive them the world will change. We'll change. Forever. That's what I'm gonna work on. That's how I want to be better.
Stay classy ladies and gents. Go do something fun. Enjoy your lives.
-JJ the Raving (not in college for the summer) Lunatic
Now most of you that know me really well know that I've had a lot of times in the past few years where I decided to wake up at five AM for various reasons. So you're probably thinking right now "oh no, Jake's gone off the deep end and is now trying to wake up at FOUR!" Not to worry; while I certainly have gone off the deep end and am still every bit as crazy as I was before, I'm not trying to wake up at four o'clock. Not yet. That's a whole twelve hours before my sister usually wakes up, by the way. Anyway, when I woke up this morning I looked at my phone for a minute then closed my eyes... but sleep didn't come. No matter how hard I tried my brain wouldn't have it. I drank some water. Stretched a little bit. Tried to block off my airway with a pillow.
Nothing worked.
So here I was, probably around five AM, just sitting in bed. I probably didn't get up and get on my computer till around six-thirty, but still I had ample time to think about the last little while (surprise, I do think quite often). I won't go into too much detail, but I can explain that there are some things that happened that left me feeling a lot of animosity towards some people who I felt like were my good friends. I felt like I'd been mistreated, wronged.
I felt angry. Really angry.
But then I felt something else. Ehmet Oz once said "the opposite of anger is not calmness, it's empathy." I can't say I felt calm--not even close--but I felt like I wanted to understand what the people I felt had wronged me were thinking, what they were feeling. I was still angry, but my head buzzed as it flew from question to question. "Why'd they do this?" "Why'd they do that?" "Why didn't they do ____?" Based on what I knew about the people I tried to answer those questions and it helped a lot. Some of what's happened has hurt me a lot. It made me feel like I was nothing but a old soccer ball that had been used but had become worn out and was being thrown out. I felt like shit, honestly.
But when I empathized with those people I felt something completely different. I felt what they were feeling. I understood what they were going through. I saw something in them; they're like me in a lot of ways (that's comforting, isn't it?) so how could I be angry at them? I forgave them.
And you know what? I feel better. Am I still a little hurt? Sure, but I'm not gonna let it get in the way of relationships with my friends. I mean, as long as my friends want to remain my friends, that is. Regardless I forgive them even if they're not sorry. Even if they feel they're right. And I'd do it again too. I'd forgive them again.
Why? Why forgive people when they do something wrong to you or when you feel like you've been wronged? It's simple, really. "To err is human; to forgive, divine." I don't remember who said that, but they said it far better than I ever could. People make mistakes. People make stupid mistakes that they might not regret at that time but may regret later. Hell, they might never regret them. But that's where this whole divine thing comes in. Forgiveness makes you a better person. I don't mean it makes you better than the person who wronged you, it just makes you improve as a person. Because what happens when you don't forgive someone is you feel animosity. You feel this anger welling up inside of you like a burning fist clenching your innards. It takes hold of you and won't let you go. It drives your actions, it changes your character. You might be a good person before that anger, but anger can completely change you. It transforms you into something cold and unrecognizable if you let it. The only cure for that is empathy and forgiveness. The only way to bring peace into your life is to forgive other people. That's the only way.
We, as humans, need to look at others and see that they make mistakes. We need to see that we make mistakes, and seek forgiveness. We need to see that other people are like us in that they make mistakes. It's been said that "empathy is about finding echoes of another in yourself."I think that's really true. When we have empathy for other people and then can forgive them the world will change. We'll change. Forever. That's what I'm gonna work on. That's how I want to be better.
Stay classy ladies and gents. Go do something fun. Enjoy your lives.
-JJ the Raving (not in college for the summer) Lunatic
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