People are crazy. Every day, we do something, hear something, or see something crazy be done... and then we judge them for it. "Oh, did you hear Fred punched a hole in his wall?" "Wow, really? That kid is so weird." People are weird and they often do things that we simply don't understand, and then we see those things and usually (emphasis on usually--x2, I guess) make a snap judgement. Recently I've been thinking about this a lot. It's very easy and very tempting to see other people and think that what you see is what you get.
Someone lashes out? They're just an angry person and I don't want to be around them. Someone is clingy? Nah, I think I'll steer clear of that. Someone has a hard time doing stuff that they want/need to do? Well, they just need to buckle down and do it instead of being lazy. That person hurt my feelings? Well, they're just a jerk anyway. Who needs em. Any of this sound familiar to you? Some of this is pretty familiar to me. I find it so easy to look at people and think that that's who they are, that there's no more to them.
Contrary to that, the truth is that humans are very deep and complex beings. We're more than just the sum of our actions, we are the sum of our feelings, our thoughts, our actions, our backgrounds, our mental health, etc. And lastly, we are emotional people. It's hard for me to put into words, but I believe that our actions are not always representative of who we are. Rather, I believe that we as a people are weak, we have difficulty controlling our emotions and often choose to act in the first way we can think of. It's in our nature that way... But, we are also more than that. I believe it was Christ that said "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." I believe that every person naturally wants to be good, wants to do good, wants to achieve something in their life.
Psychology indicates that people are 50% nature, 50% nurture, meaning that the person we have become is decided 50% by our genes and 50% by the way we have been nurtured by our parents/caretakers*. So what does this mean for us? This means that we often take on the character traits of our parents. It also means that if you have mental illness in your family, then it's part of you. It's part of who you are and it can determine partially what you will do. The reason I bring this up is that sometimes there are factors we can't possibly comprehend that make a person who they are. that guy that lashes out easily? Who's to say he doesn't have depression, which causes people to get easily irritated, or who's to say that he isn't just having a horrible day? Who's to say that Fred simply doesn't know how to control his anger, so he punched through a wall? Maybe Fred was taught by the example of his dad or mom to break things when he got angry. These aren't excuses. We are still responsible for what we control, but on the other hand, understanding is the key to learning to coexist with people that are different from you. I have always found that when I seek to understand some that I get frustrated with, when I seek to understand why they are the way they are, it brings a little peace into my heart and I feel less anger towards them.
The very fact that we are different brings us on a collision course with some other unfortunate soul. Differences can bring frustration, anger, unhappiness. It can unsettle us and make life harder. The question is, would you rather live a life shunning others, getting frustrated with them all the time, getting angry at people and what not? Or would you rather gain a little peace in your life and work towards a better world? The choice is yours. You can choose to seek for understanding towards other people. Or you can choose not to. As for me, while I am certainly not that good at this, it's what I choose to strive for. This is who I want to become. You may see it differently, but my hope is that you will see the good in my blog here and adopt them for yourself.
As always, thanks for reading. Feel free to leave your comments below and have a good chant with me about it.
-JJ, the Raving on-Hiatus-From-College Student
*Forgive me if I got this wrong, but that's the interpretation I got from everything I've read--feel free to correct me on this nature/nurture principal.
Someone lashes out? They're just an angry person and I don't want to be around them. Someone is clingy? Nah, I think I'll steer clear of that. Someone has a hard time doing stuff that they want/need to do? Well, they just need to buckle down and do it instead of being lazy. That person hurt my feelings? Well, they're just a jerk anyway. Who needs em. Any of this sound familiar to you? Some of this is pretty familiar to me. I find it so easy to look at people and think that that's who they are, that there's no more to them.
Contrary to that, the truth is that humans are very deep and complex beings. We're more than just the sum of our actions, we are the sum of our feelings, our thoughts, our actions, our backgrounds, our mental health, etc. And lastly, we are emotional people. It's hard for me to put into words, but I believe that our actions are not always representative of who we are. Rather, I believe that we as a people are weak, we have difficulty controlling our emotions and often choose to act in the first way we can think of. It's in our nature that way... But, we are also more than that. I believe it was Christ that said "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." I believe that every person naturally wants to be good, wants to do good, wants to achieve something in their life.
Psychology indicates that people are 50% nature, 50% nurture, meaning that the person we have become is decided 50% by our genes and 50% by the way we have been nurtured by our parents/caretakers*. So what does this mean for us? This means that we often take on the character traits of our parents. It also means that if you have mental illness in your family, then it's part of you. It's part of who you are and it can determine partially what you will do. The reason I bring this up is that sometimes there are factors we can't possibly comprehend that make a person who they are. that guy that lashes out easily? Who's to say he doesn't have depression, which causes people to get easily irritated, or who's to say that he isn't just having a horrible day? Who's to say that Fred simply doesn't know how to control his anger, so he punched through a wall? Maybe Fred was taught by the example of his dad or mom to break things when he got angry. These aren't excuses. We are still responsible for what we control, but on the other hand, understanding is the key to learning to coexist with people that are different from you. I have always found that when I seek to understand some that I get frustrated with, when I seek to understand why they are the way they are, it brings a little peace into my heart and I feel less anger towards them.
The very fact that we are different brings us on a collision course with some other unfortunate soul. Differences can bring frustration, anger, unhappiness. It can unsettle us and make life harder. The question is, would you rather live a life shunning others, getting frustrated with them all the time, getting angry at people and what not? Or would you rather gain a little peace in your life and work towards a better world? The choice is yours. You can choose to seek for understanding towards other people. Or you can choose not to. As for me, while I am certainly not that good at this, it's what I choose to strive for. This is who I want to become. You may see it differently, but my hope is that you will see the good in my blog here and adopt them for yourself.
As always, thanks for reading. Feel free to leave your comments below and have a good chant with me about it.
-JJ, the Raving on-Hiatus-From-College Student
*Forgive me if I got this wrong, but that's the interpretation I got from everything I've read--feel free to correct me on this nature/nurture principal.
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